


When Nobody Understands, You Come and Take a Chance

by perfectromanceinmymind



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-11
Updated: 2013-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-25 03:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/634633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectromanceinmymind/pseuds/perfectromanceinmymind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackson and April try to sort through the aftermath of the boards weekend. Picks up immediately following the end of ep 8-22, "Let The Bad Times Roll."</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Nobody Understands, You Come and Take a Chance

There had been a lot of emotions over the past two days. Moods that had shifted like the flip of a switch – or the click of a lock on a bathroom door. But none of those moods had flipped as swiftly as this one. One second, Jackson was feeling joy and elation at his passing result. Barely split second later – horror, dread, guilt as he saw the look on April's face.

"Shit," he muttered, Alex, Cristina and Meredith echoing the sentiment.

April didn't hear them. The whole world kind of went fuzzy the moment she read the words on the screen, there in black and white – Kepner, April S –Fail. Even later, she wasn't really able to say how she felt at that moment. She just went numb.

She had a vague recollection of Jackson telling the others he would take her home, of riding in the car through the dark Seattle streets and climbing the stairs to the apartment.

The worry was written all over Jackson's face as he watched her fumble for her keys and finally manage to unlock the door and let them in. She stopped just inside the living room to kick off her heels and then she looked around the room like she'd never seen it before.

Which, to be fair, they hadn't seen much of their new place. They'd barely moved out before Meredith had ordered them all back to the house for round-the-clock studying.

With a sigh, she sank down to sit on the couch as he carried their suitcases to the end of the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Turning back to the living room, he looked at her, chin propped in her hands, elbows on her knees. His heart broke for her and he wished desperately that he could think of something – anything – to say that wouldn't be a total cliché or a bunch of crap.

"I'm sorry," was all he could come up with but the words seemed to finally snap her out of it and she sat up to look straight at him.

"Sorry? For what? I failed on my own – it's not your fault."

Jackson shook his head. "Yeah, but – we – I shouldn't've – in the bathroom –"

April cut off his stammering with a firm shake of her head. "That had nothing to do with it. I screwed things up way before that." She paused reflectively, a small smile on her lips. "To be honest – the final session was probably my best one. I think – what we did – well, it kinda helped to clear my head, in a really weird sort of way."

Jackson blinked in surprise. "Oh. Well. Okay, then. I still –"

"Feel guilty?" April guessed. "Well, don't. I already told you. There's nothing to be guilty about. It was my choice – I knew what I was doing. I didn't know – how conflicted I'd feel later, but that is not your fault." She let out a short laugh. "I should be apologizing to you. You should be out celebrating."

Jackson smiled wryly. "Come on, April. Do you really think it's any kind of celebration for me without you a part of it?"

April smiled back at him as he sat down on the couch next to her. "That's sweet. But the fact is I didn't make it. Maybe it's a sign. Maybe this isn't where God wants me." She looked thoughtful. "Maybe I'm done with surgery."

Jackson frowned. "Don't say that, April. You can always keep studying and take the boards again next year. I don't know too much about religion, but isn't the deal kind of that God is all about forgiveness? Second chances?"

April nodded. "Yeah, but – you know, maybe I've used up all my second chances."

Jackson brow furrowed in confusion. "I'm sorry, what?"

April shrugged. "I've had a lot of second chances. I shouldn't have even still been in the program after that poor woman died and I got fired. But Derek gave me a second chance. And that brought me to where maybe I shouldn't even be _alive_ right now – why didn't Gary Clark shoot me? How the _hell_ did I talk him out of that?" She shook her head sharply, as if to pull herself out of that black hole of depressing memories. "And then I fell into the chief resident job practically by default and almost screwed that up too. How many chances does one person get?"

"As many as they need," Jackson said quietly, but firmly.

April smiled and reached for his hand. "Thank you," she said softly. "For believing in me, encouraging me – just being there."

"Anytime," Jackson replied, pulling her towards him and wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

April sighed as she rested her head on his shoulder. "We – we haven't wrecked our friendship by doing what we did – have we?" she asked hesitantly, lifting her head back up to look at him.

Jackson looked serious as he replied honestly, "I don't know yet – it might be too soon to say. I hope not."

April glanced down before asking, in a super-quiet voice. "Do you think we'll do that again?"

Jackson tried, and failed, to suppress a grin. "I don't know that either. I kinda hope so though."

April lifted her eyes to meet his. "Yeah?"

He nodded and whispered, "Yeah," before leaning in to kiss her.

It was different from their other kisses. Those had been – frantic, urgent – desperate, almost. This was – gentle, languid.

They broke apart and April rested her head against his chest. "What do I do now?" she said softly.

"About?" Jackson prompted.

"I don't know, that was actually mostly rhetorical. Everything, I guess," April replied. "Work, you, Jesus – my whole life, basically."

"You get some sleep first," Jackson said practically. "I know you haven't had a full night's sleep in months between work and studying and well, last night, so –"

April giggled. "Was that really just last night? It seems like a lifetime ago." Her grin faded as she looked at him. "I'm sorry I made you feel like you should leave. It was kind of crummy of me."

Jackson shrugged. "It's okay. I get it, especially now that I have more information about what a big deal it was for you, in more ways than I knew," he said pointedly and April blushed. "Really, how did I not know what your faith means to you?"

"Because I didn't tell anyone," she said simply. "I'm the butt of so many jokes already, you think I wanted to give anyone anymore ammunition?"

"Well, yeah, okay, I get that. But you could have told me."

"Well, now you know."

"Okay, fair enough," Jackson said, turning to sit sideways on the couch and stretch his legs out in front of him, pulling April alongside his body.

"This feels nice," she admitted quietly a few minutes later. "Can we stay like this for a while?"

Jackson nodded. "If that's what you need, that's what I'm here for."

"Thank you," she said as he leaned over to brush his lips over hers. It was just a brief touch, barely even a kiss – but there was so much promise in it. There was so much to figure out – about their careers, their relationship, their futures and the place they had in each other's lives – but for now, it was enough to rest in each other's arms and for a few hours, to just _be_.

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes the lyrics of Michelle Branch's "You Get Me." I find the whole chorus to just be SO April & Jackson.  
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Hey, you were on my side  
> And they, they just rolled their eyes
> 
> You get me  
> When nobody understands  
> You come and take the chance  
> Baby, you get me  
> You look inside my wild mind  
> Never knowing what you'll find  
> And still you want me all the time  
> Yeah, you do  
> Yeah, you get me


End file.
